The straight skinny!

My New Hobby

Your intrepid blogger has taken a couple of week off to do some exhaustive research on the real situation with Covid-19.  I have combed through hours and hours of reports from all the major news outlest, the CDC, the Tennessee department of health, My brother-in-law Tom, Neighbor Chuck, Madam Rue (you know that gypsy with the gold tattoo from Love Potion #9).

The Chinese fellow at the local take out restaurant said it sounds like the Russian flu to him while my friend is Cuba last said to stay the hell indoors and wear a mask everywhere before he went off the air about a week ago (I'm worried about him!)

But here is the straight skinny derived (stolen & plagiarized  from dozens of reliable sources.)

The LIST:

1. Basically, you can't leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then go ahead.

2. Masks are useless, but please wear one, it could save you or someone else or maybe not. Also could be mandatory, maybe. 

3. Stores are closed, except the ones that are open. You can buy the same stuff at some open stores that they have at closed stores and there are a lot more people inside them. 

4. You should not go to hospitals unless you have to go there. Same applies to doctors, you should only go there in case of emergency, provided you are not too sick. If you are sick stay home.

5. This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster or instant death. 

6. Gloves won't help, but they can still help. If you touch anything then throw them away! 

7. Everyone needs to stay HOME, but it's important to GO OUT.

8. There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but there are many things missing when you go there in the evening, but not in the morning. Sometimes. Check Facebook for current inventory. 

9. The virus has no effect on children except those it affects.

10. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested, plus a few tigers here and there…

11. You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms. Yeah.

12. In order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise, but eat whatever you have on hand and it's better not to go out, well, but please support local restaurants. 

13. It's better to get some fresh air, but you get looked at very wrong when you get some fresh air, and most importantly, you don't go to parks or walk. But don’t sit down, except that you can do that now if you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant (but not too old).

14. You can't go to retirement homes, but you have to take care of the elderly and bring food and medication.

15. If you are sick, you can't go out, but you can go to the pharmacy or pretty much anywhere. 

16. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, which may have been prepared by people who didn't wear masks or gloves. But you have to have your groceries decontaminated outside for 3 hours. Pizza too?

17. Every disturbing article or disturbing interview must start with " I don't want to trigger panic, but…"

18. You can't see your older mother or grandmother, but you can take a uber and meet an older Uber driver.

19. You can walk around with a friend but not with your family if they don't live under the same roof.

20. You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance, but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance.

21. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours, no, four, no, six, no, we didn't say hours, maybe days? But it takes a damp environment. Oh no, not necessarily.

22. The virus stays in the air - well no, or yes, maybe, especially in a closed room, in one hour a sick person can infect ten, so if it falls, all our children were already infected at school before it was closed. But remember, if you stay at the recommended social distance, however in certain circumstances you should maintain a greater distance, which, studies show, the virus can travel further, maybe.

23. We count the number of deaths but we don't know how many people are infected as we have only tested so far those who were "almost dead" to find out if that's what they will die of

24. We have no treatment, except that there may be one that apparently is not dangerous unless you take too much (which is the case with all medications). 

25. We should stay locked up until the virus disappears, but it will only disappear if we achieve collective immunity, so when it circulates… but we must no longer be locked up for that?

I hope you feel better now that you are correctly informed.

Tennessee: 9667  Loudon County: 27